Friday, March 29, 2013

How well do your know your child ?

Spend some time with your child discussing the questions below; you may get lucky and learn something about your child that you didn't know!

What do you look for in a friend?
What is your favorite thing to do?
What do you want to be when you grow up? Why?
What is your favorite thing about school? Least favorite?
Who do you consider to be your hero? Why?
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
What three things do you think you are good at?
What is your best memory? Worst memory?
What is your favorite movie?
What are you most afraid of?
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
What is the best thing about being young? What is the worst thing?
What is your favorite class? Who is your favorite teacher?
Who is your best friend? Why?
What are your favorite foods?
What makes you the most angry?
What makes you the most happy?
If you were the parent for a day, which rule would you get rid of?
If you could have a magical power, what would you choose?
What would you do if you had the magical power you chose?
What do you see in your future?
Describe yourself using five words or less.
If you could spend one day doing anything you wanted, what would you do?
How would you act if there were NO rules for the day?
What is your biggest problem at school?
What is your biggest problem at home?
What is the best thing about being YOU?

A study by the University of Rochester last year screened the parents of more than 10,000, 9-month-old babies, asking such questions as “Should a 1-year-old child be able to tell right from wrong?” and “Should a 1-year-old child be ready to begin toilet-training?” A third of parents got fewer than five of the 11 questions correct, meaning they had what researchers labeled a “low level knowledge of typical infant development.” (The answer to both those questions is no, by the way.)
Another reason we don’t see what is in front of us, is that we don’t want it to be true. (Which is one reason why doctors and therapists are not supposed to treat their own children.) We’re in denial, pure and simple. And a more complicated corollary to that is “it can’t be true, because if it were, as his parent, I would know.”

We are blinded by the emotional connection that makes us want so much in the first place. We, who know our children best, are sometimes too close for a focused view. Even while we think we are paying meticulous attention (and heaven knows, we have all seen parents who are smothering with their attention) we still miss what is right in front of us !

Friday, March 8, 2013

Obsessive Parenting as against Concerned parenting !

The mothers are obsessed to the point of brainwashing their children to be the winner, no matter the cost. It is close to child abuse. When a child does not win, her mother clearly displays disgust and disappointment. Children frequently burst into tears- Anonymous

Over-parenting is sometimes also called hyper-parenting. Both the terms signify the same thing — a wrong parenting style. It refers to a parenting style in which parents are overly-involved with their children. Such parents are often seen fighting at the school games or arguing with the school-coach because they felt that their kid was undermined in some way

It is not uncommon to find parents who are very concerned about their child. The increasing stress in our daily lives and the ever-growing ambitions and frustrations of the parents often leads to a tendency of being preoccupied with the achievements and performance of one’s child. Many such parents feel that succeeding in every subject and every sphere of activity at school is an absolute necessity. They begin to associate the child’s success as their own. Concerned parenting is essential for being good parents, but when the concern of a parent turns into a fixation, it turns into something ugly — hyper parenting

Such obsessive parents don’t allow the child to take any independent decision. Thus, the children develop little self-confidence. The 24x7 scheduling and analysis done by the
parents makes the child vulnerable to be acutely self-critical. Such children grow into over-
dependent, hypercritical and untrusting individuals

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Child attention span

How long can your child pay attention to one activity? This usually depends on their developmental age.
If you have unrealistic expectations of your child's attention span, it can often lead to temper tantrums and other upsetting behavior. Seriously, being able to concentrate and having a long attention span will serve your kid well in school—and in life. Your help in providing the right atmosphere and motivation can greatly improve your child's attention span. 
What "sit-down" activities does your child enjoy? That's where you'll begin. If your child likes puzzles, take time to do puzzles with him every day. If your child likes you to read out loud, try to read more often. If your child enjoys imaginary play, get down on the floor and play with dolls or action figures along with him. Whatever the activity, try to spend 15 minutes every day with your child without interruptions. You will probably notice that your child is better able to continue playing if he knows that you won't get up and leave just because he's not asking for interaction
Another important thing is to set a study routine. Instead of forcing it let children choose their own time. Fixed sleep time are good for discipline but remember that some kids find it easier to concentrate in early mornings and others a bit late in the evening.
Remember there is a limit to your child's attention span. An hour at a time should be enough for the child to concentrate on studying after the initial five to ten minutes of clearing out other distractions. Once the child settles down, make sure there are no disturbances. External disturbances are one of the major factors that divert attention.
Distractions like video games can also prevent the mind from engaging in concentration. Help your child in organizing study material well before he sits down to study. Give him a goal that he should try to achieve within the hour.
Heavy meals are liable to make the child lethargic and lazy. Feed your child with nutritious but light meals like juices, milk, fruits, and cheese at regular intervals rather than at one go.
Sometimes you need to sacrifice your own leisure to convey to your child that you are with him/her in the effort to excel.
The greatest motivator is you and the quality time that you spend with children. Never let self doubt or worries creep in his/her mind. Teach them what interests them the most. 
A child who is allowed to peruse his/her interests is more prone to enjoy studies as well.